OK, it’s the Oscars, it’s only 5 minutes from my place, so my friend and I zig zag thru the tourists, beggars and hustlers and what feels like every Cop in LA County; to see the stars.
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I had my doubts; my own street has been blocked off, Hollywood Blvd, closed to traffic, except Cop bikes, Cop cars and Cops on foot.
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But, one never knows when I’ll next be here in Oscar season, so we make the effort and take root by a barrier near the red carpet. To my left, a Norwegian family, to my right Latino Americans, all eyes on the constant stream of black limos.
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Occasionally we see a white limo, sometimes an expensive German car, a caddy, but today it’s like coming out day for the limousine.
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Not far from me, near the guys holding up placards for the extreme Christians, condemning Hollywood, Homosexuals, and…I had stop reading them at that point, a group of guys from Texas are giving loud commentary on the stars that allow us to see them, by winding down their limo windows.
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The crowd goes wild and I look up and Harrison Ford is staring straight back at me. The coolest guy in Star Wars, Indy himself, Blade F**cking Runner, is staring back at me.
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The cool guy from London, in an instant, has vanished; he’s replaced by an idiot tourist, with his point and shoot, snapping away like a manic madman.
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This is a zombie movie, sane normal people are turning into the celeb worshipping undead, and it’s contagious. Kids from East LA, kids from Compton, kids from Norway and Japan, all united in watering at the mouth at the movie stars in spitting distance.
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Tilda Swinton cruises past and I wish her luck for the Oscars.
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A couple of hours later, I’m in a bar on Hollywood, watching her go goo goo collecting her Oscar, later I see Mr Ford hand an Oscar to Diablo Cody for Juno, something I predicted on this very blog, it’s all so bizarre.
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But perhaps the most bizarre is a telephone call I receive as I’m watching the biggest show on Earth that rainy afternoon.
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The director I’m working for a project, with me writing the screenplay, calls me to discuss a few things.
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Now I hate loud pretentious phone calls, but this one goes something like,..................Yeah, so you’re talking to a producer now? Yeah, this movie is going to be great, Yeah, I’m doing a workshop with a guy who worked on the development of Zodiac next month, about adapting for the screen, I forget his name, Yeah I watched the trailer you put together.
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It’s only after I put my mobile away that I notice a whole section of the crowd is looking at me with a united look. 
I must have sounded like such a prick.
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Late that night; I’m with my friend and a pal from my course in a dark dive bar. A drunk seasoned actor is telling us all about a project he’s working on, he name drops the people he’s worked with, he does it with such un self conscious zeal, we are all swept up in his pitch.
This is LA and its flavor tastes like bullshit anywhere else on the planet, it just tastes so good out here.
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